I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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