I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
