I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
