honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
