This is not my ceiling
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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