just come out here and I will go home with you...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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