wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
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After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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