fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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