Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
