y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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