I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize