I'm lost and stupid without you.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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