I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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