By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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