Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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