Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
