I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
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he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
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We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick