Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure