Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class

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(925): This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class http://tfl.nu/1wvn

Replies (9) Good night (2390) Bad night (665)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?

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(513): Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school? http://tfl.nu/0udh

Replies (357) Good night (954) Bad night (8121)
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(818): View more from California

so... thinking about masturbating finally

(661): View more from California

taking the losers way out I see

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(818): so... thinking about masturbating finally (661): taking the losers way out I see http://tfl.nu/lnxg

Replies (14) Good night (722) Bad night (2867)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks

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(320): Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks http://tfl.nu/7398

Replies (64) Good night (1528) Bad night (6565)
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(224): View more from Illinois

Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.

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(224): Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped. http://tfl.nu/31qz

Replies (32) Good night (4106) Bad night (770)
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(269): View more from Michigan

We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds

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(269): We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds http://tfl.nu/v47x

Replies (15) Good night (6951) Bad night (692)
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(941): View more from Florida

I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.

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(941): I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever. http://tfl.nu/ukm2

Replies (11) Good night (5146) Bad night (1120)
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(219): View more from Indiana

surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on

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(219): surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on http://tfl.nu/a8g3

Replies (9) Good night (3347) Bad night (1150)
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(212): View more from New York

He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.

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(212): He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend. http://tfl.nu/rr39

Replies (9) Good night (1127) Bad night (2170)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.

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(609): Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel. http://tfl.nu/x8kg

Replies (24) Good night (1081) Bad night (514)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.

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(603): I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. (1-603): It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay. http://tfl.nu/8z7g

Replies (8) Good night (1537) Bad night (568)
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(309): View more from Illinois

you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.

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(309): you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits. http://tfl.nu/xhq2

Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (394)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?

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(802): Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter? http://tfl.nu/jufp

Replies (8) Good night (1151) Bad night (423)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.

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(919): Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties. http://tfl.nu/7t6a

Replies (9) Good night (1676) Bad night (438)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?

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(913): Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick? http://tfl.nu/db75

Replies (6) Good night (718) Bad night (380)

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