brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila