Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
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It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
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I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you