i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
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Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.