Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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