hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
