dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
