what if every blade of grass was a penis?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
