My first STD was from a foam party
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
