My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.