I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
