a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
