Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
