I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
