i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need to calm my uterus...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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