i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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