i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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