what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
