Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
