quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
