And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
