STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
