called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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