So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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