also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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