You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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