He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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