These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize