He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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