There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
People with herpes should wear stickers.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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