I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize