I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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