Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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