I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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