the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
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according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
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i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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