Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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