Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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