Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
