I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
