I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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