he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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