When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
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The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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